Bing: The Decision Engine

It's a decision engine!

Have you ever been on Google and found yourself thinking, "man, screw critical reasoning and free will; who needs that?" No? Yeah, I figured as much. But the good news that if you have, Bing has you covered.

For those not in the know, Bing is a search engine much like Google. The main difference between them is that Bing seems to be designed for some sort of alternate dimension dystopian 2013. If you've seen Back to the Future Part II, think of the 1985 where Biff owned a casino and was married to Marty's mom — except 28 years later, obviously.

In the Bing timeline, society realized the true perils of giving people too much time to think and make their own decisions. It was chaos, and out of the ashes of the old world came the new order: Don't think, just obey.

I guess the real question here is how Bing even made it to our timeline. Oh well, let's not think too hard about that and just go with it — right Bing?

No thought needed here.

That about sums up the ad’s message. You don't need to think or make decisions, because someone else can just do that for you. Thinking and deciding for yourself will inevitably lead to failure, so why bother? I’m sure quite a few powerful people and/or corporations wish the Bing dystopia was a reality.

• "Don't think, just obey."
• "Don't think, just consume."
• "Don't think, just be content."

It certainly would make things easier, wouldn’t it? And not just for the high and mighty, but for all the rest of us too. Choices are difficult to make. Wouldn’t it just be better if you were free from choice and just had the freedom to obey? Freedom is Slavery — and Slavery is Freedom — after all.  

Freedom.

I came into this post thinking I was sickened by Bing and its premise, but I was wrong. It showed me the errors of my thought process — mostly that I had a thought process. Now I know better. I don't want to have to think about things or make my own choices. And you know what? It's such a relief.

“O cruel, needless misunderstanding! O stubborn, self-willed exile from the loving breast! Two gin-scented tears trickled down the sides of his nose. But it was all right, everything was all right, the struggle was finished. He had won the victory over himself. He loved Big Brother Bing.” – 1984  

From this moment on, whenever I want to search something I'll use Bing to get to Google.